To XXX,
I know im not important at all, and i too know that im just another girl, another friend, another passerby in your life. I know my presence isnt at all significant, and i know that you couldnt care less. The truth is hurting me, it hurt me so much i cried to sleep last night. For a second i thought you finally stopped neglecting me and showing me the cold shoulder, but i was wrong. Utterly disappointed, you were not even bothered to ask me what you've asked earlier on. If it wasnt for that impulsive act and ill-disciplined fingers, we would be drifted even further apart, to where we started, merely strangers.
Thinking back, i couldnt help but to laugh at myself. After going through so much, learning while emerging the ardous journey for 18 years of my life, its sad to realise how immature i still am towards relationship. Am i really not ready for one? Or does my heart sinks too quickly? I do not know.
Promises are meant to be broken. How true is that? Search your heart for the book of promises made, how many of em have you broke and how many have you actually fulfilled? Time and again, im waiting and anticipating for your golden mouth to ask those golden questions i wish to hear. All i got was a moment of silence.
I could still remember very vividly the way you look into my eyes and vice versa, the things that took place on that very day, the conversations exchanged, the presence of you beside me, protecting me.
I dont even know why im writing this, as i know for sure you wouldnt be reading it. And even if you do, you do not even know it is meant to be yours. Then again, its just part of my wishful thinking, you've striked me off your interest list and never erasing that horizontal mark. I wanna place you in my memory card and bury it in the sand, i wanna stop thinking of you because its making me emotional.
I kept telling myself to give others and myself a chance to start all over and anew, but i couldnt because i know that meanwhile, you're the one and only one i want. You returned me the feeling which ive lost for about a year and its such an irony that im going to continue losing it. Just what am i saying? I do not know. Im probably too incoherent, i shouldnt go on.
Love XXX.
* yours truly.
amber.ruoxuan\\twenty\
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20051987\\single\\operations analyst @ credit suisse\\friendster*
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